I tend to believe most global warming theories, because clearly the Earth is rebelling against us. There have been hurricanes and earthquakes and sink holes and thunder and extreme heat and obviously there is a bigger problem going on. For the past few weeks, the New York area has been experiencing extreme humidity and heat, with mostly rain and thunderstorms or, on certain days, non-stop blinding sun that threatens to melt my entire body into a pool of soup on the streets. I like to think that the Earth is currently in an infinite state of PMS and is actively trying to get revenge on the human population for putting it through the most heart-wrenching relationship it has ever been in, much like an attention-seeking teenage girl.
I now present to you some fashion inspiration from my Tumblr page that may (or, more likely, may not) help you to survive this month's apocalyspe of sorts: the heat wave.
Blow bubbles. Because you can be as random as you want in this heat and still get away with it.
Find a body of water that resembles these ones and just live there for a while.
Don't let the heat stop you from checking your twitter, because nothing is more important.
Wearing your hair up is really the only survivable style in a heat apocalypse, so try a chic braided style to distract from the fact that you're melting.
For the next couple of weeks you should probably just stick to an all-ice cream diet until things calm down.
Hide behind tall buildings to block the sun.
Buy a large hat to be fashionable and block out the deadly UV rays.
If you insist on dressing up, I suggest a dress made of almost no fabric.
A slicked back hair style for those who are too insecure to wear a full on up-do like myself.
It gets colder as the altitude increases, so I suggest just chilling on a roof somewhere.
If possible, find the nearest body of water and transform into a mermaid until summer's over.
You are probably going to be quite hot and sweaty, so pick up as many flowers as you can on your way home so people will still want to be near you.
Walking is basically impossible in this heat, so always take a taxi.
Jelly shoes will not only bring back your 90's nostalgia, but are also protected against sweat, dirt, and melting skin.
Another shoe option is a pair of white sneakers to deflect the sun and help you to run to the nearest air conditioned building quickly.
Overalls are the go-to for any apocalypse related event and heat waves are no exception.
In this heat it is important to release your anger while ironically wearing a 'smile' shirt.
On really hot days, you probably won't even have the effort to change out of your pajamas, so just go out in them. Trust me, everyone is doing it.
Cutouts are important to release excess heat from your overheated body.
So there you have it; everything you will need to wear, eat, and do in order to survive the summer 2013 apocalyspe: the heat wave. If you are reading this from somehwere in the world that is currently experiencing colder temperatures, these tips may not help, but please come here and take me back with you!
Hope you are having a great week!